Have you ever questioned the path you are on?
It doesn’t happen to me often, but I recently had an experience that gave me reason to pause and ponder.
Was there something else I should be doing?
The catalyst was a professional conference I attended with my husband. Besides being an opportunity to spend time with him, it was a chance to celebrate his personal accomplishments and dedication to his field of medicine. He had a few days of meetings culminating in a ceremony where he was inducted as a fellow to the college of surgeons. The ceremony was similar to previous graduations in full regalia with speakers, presentations, and recitations.
The procession began and so did my observations. “There are a lot of women this year.” “I wonder what type of surgeon she is?” “She looks about my age.” “I wonder if she is married with children.”
As the ceremony progressed I began to notice my thoughts turning to medical schools in my area, the type of medicine I would like to study, and how old I would be when I graduated.
Random thoughts that I had never even considered before suddenly seemed to want my attention. I would try to bring myself back to the speaker and then find myself thinking about going to medical school again. It was very perplexing.
Where was this all coming from?
Then the moment we had been waiting for came. It was my husbands turn to have his name read and presented to the college. He approached the stage with his mentor and friend who would be placing his hood, bent at the knees to receive the honor, shook hands and smiled for the cameras. It was a great smile.
Rather than each incoming fellow being “hooded” by the same administrator, one that they likely had never met before, they were asked to select a current fellow of the college to do the honors of placing the hood. The surgeon my husband selected happened to be his junior resident when they were in residency. Now six years later, it was a touching moment of true fellowship, generosity, and acknowledgement of decades of hard work. I was proud of them both for the men, fathers, and surgeons they had become.
As I continued to watch the fellows-to-be ascend the stage with their surgical mentors I was awed by how many doctors shared the same last name. There were fathers presenting daughters, brothers presenting brothers, husbands presenting wives, and likely other familial and intimate relationships bestowing this honor. I had noticed a specific couple during the opening processional holding hands. Now to see them on the stage together, knowing only a fraction of what they must have gone through to get here, brought tears to my eyes.
What was happening to me at this ceremony?
Days later when I was home and processing this experience three things became very clear.
First, it’s NEVER too late.
Yes, I could go to medical school as a forty-something mother of five. I likely wouldn’t be the first, or the last, to do it. It was possible! Our dreams do not have expiration dates, and each of us are capable of more than we give ourselves credit for.
By the time my youngest is out of the house I could be a practicing doctor!
Second, there is a way to do what you want.
I firmly believe that if you have a desire to do something, anything, there is a way to accomplish it. You might not know exactly what the way will look like, but there is always a way!
One of my favorite beliefs is that you can get anywhere form anywhere. Pick a direction and start moving, you will figure out what is next when you are on the road. Not knowing the exact path is not a good reason to give up or never try.
If you want something badly enough you will find a way, otherwise you will find an excuse.
Third, know and like your reasons for doing it.
You might not need to do anything to get what you really want.
Now, before I lead you to believe that I am setting out to become a doctor, or am abandoning my dreams, I want to tell you what I also know to be true. What we think we want often isn’t what we want at all.
I don’t actually want to go to medical school. I don’t want to be a doctor! At least not right now. However, I am open to all possibilities for the future.
What I was looking for was a feeling, not a medical degree.
The thoughts and impressions that came to me during that ceremony were not pointing me to medical school, they were an invitation to look elsewhere. Inward. To look at what my true desires were.
I desired the feelings of pride, accomplishment, and acknowledgement for years of work unwitnessed, and I didn’t need to go medical school to experience that. I didn’t need an award, a certificate, a diploma, a degree, a ceremony, or an audience to say that my contributions have made a difference or been worthwhile.
None of these things can create feelings of pride and accomplishment by themselves. I used to think they did. But these last few years I have become intimately aware that what I choose to think about my circumstances and myself is the largest factor in determining my emotional experience.
Feeling proud is a gift you can give yourself!
When we feel proud of ourselves for doing the things that no one knows about and no one will ever see, we develop true self-confidence.
As you look at what your goals are consider for a moment what it will feel like to accomplish it.
- What feeling are you hoping the goal will provide that you are not currently feeling?
- How can you access that feeling right now before the goal is accomplished?
- Do you like your reasons for choosing your goal(s)?
If you answer is yes, then go after it! It’s never too late, and there is always a way.
And no matter what happens, you can be proud of yourself.
Need help answering the questions above, or another perspective? Click here to work with me. This is what I love to do!
Photo by Baim Hanif on Unsplash
