I remember when I thought my only notable accomplishments for the year was having kept my family alive, fed, clothed, and mostly clean. We were in what felt like the longest years of our life. And since my only objective through those years was making it through alive, fed, clothed and mostly clean – by all accounts it was another successful year!
But, there was so much more I wasn’t giving myself credit for because it didn’t seem like much.
Afterall, I didn’t finish a degree, didn’t write a book, didn’t become debt-free, didn’t lose weight, didn’t run a marathon, buy a house or learn a foreign language. There wasn’t anything I could measure, no piece of paper, no picture – no proof. Nothing worth acknowledging, posting on social medial, or writing about. Nothing that counted or could be counted.
How wrong I was.
It is easy this time of year to focus on all of the things that didn’t get done, didn’t get started, didn’t get finished, didn’t get tried, or didn’t get remembered. Especially, when it seems everyone else is celebrating BIG wins for the year.
Focusing on what we didn’t do is the least inspiring way to start a New Year, or a new month, or a new week, or a new day.
And, you know this is true: beating yourself up doesn’t inspire you either. Maybe you’ve tried it.
Don’t compare your accomplishments (or perceived lack of accomplishments) with anyone else’s. They are rarely fair, rarely helpful, and rarely true.
Focus on what you did do!
Let that be the gift you give yourself at the beginning of this year. Take a moment, a day, a week, however long it takes, to reflect on what you have done and who you have become.
In a previous post I wrote about the magical combination of gratitude, contentment, and abundance. It really is… magic. And as you prepare to step into a new year, a little self-appreciation can go a long way.
Pull out a piece of paper, or start a new note on your personal device. It doesn’t have to be done in one sitting. But do spend some time reflecting on your accomplishments before you dive into the new year.
If you need help getting started here are some suggestions:
Look at your calendar/day planner.
It is likely filled with places you went, appointments you made and kept, dates with your husband (I hope), playdates with friends, vacations, family visits, etc. Even if you didn’t keep very detailed records, looking a the calendar may jog your memory.
Just know this: humans are terrible at remembering things that aren’t written down. So if you find yourself looking at a blank calendar and your brain begins to tell you that you didn’t do anything or go anywhere – you can be sure you are wrong. You just don’t remember.
Look around your house.
There is a good chance that you moved recently. Nearly 3/4 of the US population moves an average of once every 5 years. You may be in a completely different state! But, even if you didn’t move this year, living in a home, whether renting or buying, means there are probably some projects you worked on this year. Added furnishings, or scaled back. New paint. Rearranged the furniture. Planted something in the garden or flower beds. Repairs and improvements. I don’t know about you but we seem to be in the repair mode at our house this year.
Look at your social media posts.
Since most social media users post their highlights, this could provide some details for places you went, things you did, people you visited, etc. Warning: stick to your own posts and resist the temptation to wander or scroll through your feed just now. Maybe you use another method of recording life events like a diary or journal. Scour those pages for data.
Look at your photo album on your phone.
If your social media posts are sparse, your photo album is likely exploding with information. From a quick glance through my pictures I am reminded of …. the time we dog-sat for friends, family members who visited, new recipes we tried, children’s milestones, fun traditions we started or kept, work we did, service we gave, medical procedures we had, parties we attended, baseball games, museums, first dance shoes, gifts received, etc. Your photo album is a gold mine.
Look at your library.
This could be your Podcast library, the titles on your shelves, or your Audio book app. I am certain you took in some information this year that added to your bank of knowledge. I love to listen to podcasts and read books. I keep a list of books I have read in my planner. I can see what I am feeding it. I enjoy looking over it and seeing how much more I read than I thought!
Look at your family.
You likely give a lot of your time in service to your children and husband. Hours spent teaching, cooking, cleaning, preparing, and driving. These are the things that are hard to count, measure, and identify but they do make a big difference. Give yourself credit for the service you provide to others.
Look inside.
This is probably the most uncomfortable suggestion, but also the most important one. So much of what you have accomplished this year may be on the inside. Write down as many things you appreciate about yourself as possible. Don’t neglect this step. Stay here. It’s easy to fall into a cycle of feeing bad about ourselves. The harder this assignment is for you the more important it is to try. At first you may come up with just a handful of things. Keep going.
Now you should have a pretty clear picture of the past year. Having a hard time accessing gratitude and only see what didn’t get done?
I frequently borrow this line from Brene Brown “no matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough.”
It is true. Believe it.
You are enough. You always have been and always will be. Change and growth are not possible when we are feeling ashamed of who we are or what we have done. You can let it go. You must let it go if you desire something different.
My wish for you this next year is that you can see yourself with all the love and appreciation you deserve. From that place there isn’t anything you can’t do.
Happy New Year!
Photo by Nine Köpfer on Unsplash
