You’ve checked all the boxes you were supposed to.
Training is (mostly) behind you, your partner is finally practicing, the kids are…managed-ish, and life beside medicine looks how you hoped it would on paper.
But internally? You’re tired. You’re carrying more than anyone can see. Resentment pops up more than you’d like to admit. You love your family and sometimes catch yourself thinking, “Is this… it?”
If that sounds familiar, you’re exactly the kind of person I work with. Here’s a simple way to decide if coaching is a good next step for you.
1. Start with a gut check
Read through these and notice what lands:
- You feel like the default parent, project manager, and emotional glue of the family.
- Your partner’s schedule, call, and career shape almost everything, and your needs get whatever’s left.
- You’ve tried “being grateful,” organizing more, or pushing through… but the same patterns keep coming back.
- You’re craving more connection with your spouse, but most of your conversations are logistics.
- You’ve forgotten what you want outside of keeping everything running.
If you’re nodding along to several of these, coaching is likely worth exploring. This is the work I help physician spouses and partners do every day.
2. What coaching with me is (and isn’t)
Coaching is:
- A structured conversation focused on where you are now and where you want to go.
- A place to tell the truth about resentment, exhaustion, and loneliness without being told to “just be grateful.”
- Practical. We translate insight into tiny, doable shifts in how you think, communicate, and move through your days.
- Centered on you! Your identity, needs, and desires… not just your partner’s career.
Coaching is not:
- A replacement for therapy, especially if you’re in acute crisis, navigating untreated mental health conditions, or in an unsafe relationship.
- About fixing your spouse or making you “less emotional.”
- Homework overload or perfection projects. We go for sustainable, not impressive.
If you’re functioning day-to-day but feel stuck in patterns of overwhelm, disconnection, or “I know better than this, so why am I still here?”, coaching is often the missing bridge.
3. Coaching is likely a good fit if…
- You’re willing to look honestly at your habits, beliefs, and coping strategies.
- You’re open to trying small experiments in how you think, respond, and plan your time, even if life is still unpredictable.
- You want more agency in a life that feels ruled by rotations, call schedules, or constant change.
- You don’t just want to vent; you want tools, language, and support to actually do life differently.
You don’t have to know how to change yet. That’s the part we figure out together.
4. A quick self-check
Try these questions:
- If nothing changed in the next 12 months, how would I feel?
- What would I love to be different in my daily life beside medicine?
- Do I want a guide who understands physician family life to walk with me while I make those changes?
If your answers sound like, “I can’t keep doing it like this,” or “I don’t want to do this alone anymore,” coaching is probably the right next step.
5. If you’re curious, you don’t have to decide alone
You don’t have to be “sure” coaching is right before reaching out. That’s what a consult is for, a low-pressure conversation where we explore what’s hard, what you want more of, and whether working together makes sense.
You can love your life and still need more support. Both things can be true. And if you’re ready to explore what “better” could look like now, I’d be honored to help you find it.
