Several years ago I wrote a letter on my blog to our student loan provider. We were in our 5th year of a surgical residency and I was 38 weeks pregnant with our fourth child, the bills from our student loans just kept coming in. My husband was using words like fellowship which would extend training for an additional 1-2 years beyond the 6 we had already planned on. A perfect storm was brewing.
Looking back, the letter wasn’t as nasty as I thought it was, especially under the circumstances. Or maybe I am just seeing things through new, kinder, wiser eyes.
I always imagined we would buckle down and get our loans paid quickly. We were used to a lifestyle of limited resources already and I liked the idea of it. I had grown up (as did my husband) in a debt adverse family, hearing church leaders frequently warn of the evils of having debt, and we were (at least I was) fans of Dave Ramsey. Debt was a negative word to be avoided at all costs, that brought up all the negative feelings.
It was difficult to reconcile having such a large student loan balance amidst these messages. The balance was large, and with each passing year the interest kept growing, compounding. We felt absolutely powerless to do anything about it. Moonlighting was prohibited. Working outside of the home also felt impossible and futile. Where did all these kids come from? The path we chose was to wait it out, and hope.
If you don’t already know this, people only ever do one thing: WHAT THEY WANT.
And the truth is, once we were done with training the last thing either of us wanted to do was think about student loans. What we did want was a home. A place for our growing family to live. A place to settle into. And that is what we did. Twice, in fact.
Since graduating, we have had two opportunities to payoff our student loan balances and we didn’t. Gasp!
The first was obviously right out of fellowship. We could have worked for a couple of years, living like residents with gazelle like focus until it was paid off. The second opportunity came when we sold our “dream home” and moved out of state. The profit we made on the sale of our home would have covered our entire loan balance, and then some, but we didn’t do it.
Why? Because what we wanted was a home. A place for our family, that did grow, to live. A place to settle into, after so many moves. And we would do it again.
The only person who can decide what is right for you and your family when it comes to how you address your student loans and finances is YOU. When we worked the numbers out with our financial advisor, both times, the answer was you could, BUT. No matter which way we worked it, our financial situation 15 years out looked about the same whether we aggressively saved for retirement or aggressively paid down loans. So we did what we wanted, not what we thought we should or what anyone else thought we should.
For us that meant buying a home we love with a bigger down-payment and shorter term, saving aggressively for retirement, and taking the 15 year plan on paying off our student loans. This is what felt most true to what we wanted.
No one else will have circumstances identical to yours.
I have always thought that if we had been younger when we finished training, or had fewer or younger kids, or if I worked during residency, we might have chosen to focus on our loans first. As it was, we had 5 kids and retirement is at least a decade closer for us than most of our classmates. There are a whole host of data points that are unique to you, along with specific goals, dreams and past experiences, that will shape what you want to do.
And what you want to do has a greater chance of happening, than what you should do or what your are supposed to do. The best news is that you get to decide! From a place of genuine desire, you will take the actions that will get you where you want to be. For some, the want will be to pay those loans off fast. Their desire will propel them to take the actions necessary to make that become a reality.
When our friends pay off their student loans quickly, we cheer for them!
When our friends buy a home, and take the long road to paying off their loans, we cheer for them, too!
There isn’t one right way or right time frame to pay off your student loans. When all is said and done, after all the interest is totaled up and paid, student loans will be by far the best investment most of us will ever make. The return on this single investment, in the form of earnings potential, is greater than any other financial instrument we will ever have. This one investment (debt) has made all of the other investments possible.
So today, I have a new letter:
Dear Navient (formerly Sallie Mae),
Thank you so much for loaning us money all those years ago. The life we have now, we owe to you. We did it! It never would have been possible without you. In the past, I have spoken harshly against you and for that, I am sorry. We have a life more amazing than I ever thought possible. Thank you for the opportunity to repay your generous gift every month. We have been together a long time, and I haven’t thanked you enough. When our time together comes to a close, I will recall your generosity with a heart full of gratitude for the part you played. Thank you for supporting our dreams.
With Love,
Kendra
