Once upon a time I used to blog about my life married to a surgical resident, fellow, and attending. 3 years and 400+ posts. I loved it. It was good for my soul.
I thought about the people who were reading it. I thought about what I might contribute that would be helpful. I thought I had something worth saying. I had notebooks of ideas and things I wanted to write about. I thought about it all of the time. But I didn’t want to own any of it. I was terrified to put my name on it.
Who was I anyway?
What would people think?
Would anyone care to read it if they knew it was mine?
Nobody wants to hear what I have to say.
It was so much easier to be anonymous.
Or so I thought.
It was a strange metaphor for what was actually going on.
I did feel invisible, like I didn’t exist. Nameless and faceless.
The truth is, IT didn’t happen to me…. I did it to myself.
In the brightness of my husband’s career, I retreated into the shadows. Before I knew it, I had become a ghost of my former self. This is what I allowed residency to do to me. And it took years to see the damage I had done.
What made all of the difference? Coaching.
I didn’t know how much work I had to do until someone showed me the things I couldn’t see.
Once I could see it, I could work on it. Once I began to work on it, I couldn’t stop. And because I couldn’t stop, I am here committed to helping anyone who feels that they have gone missing.
Today I am placing my stake in the ground.
No more ghosts.
No more shadows.
No more hiding.
My name is Kendra. I am a Life Coach. We should talk.
