If you are not where you want to be in your life, you’re likely stuck inside your comfort zone. Before you get discouraged, it is human nature to want comfort and pleasure and avoid discomfort or pain. This is why it is so easy to stay in our comfort zones – it’s cozy and feels good. Not to mention that this zone often boasts amenities, such as stretchy pants, on-demand entertainment, and yummy food. Why would we ever want to leave?
I can recall several long stretches, where I have been stuck in my comfort zone. One of which was during my husband’s medical residency. If you know, you know.
A medical residency is the equivalent of working two full-time jobs, at fast-food wages, saving lives, without a written schedule and hours at all times of the day or night. Add in a marriage and children, and it’s an experience for sure. Every possible resource seemed to be stretched to the max: time, money, support, patience etc. There was so much discomfort there that I didn’t tolerate discomfort anywhere else.
In the early 20th century, most physicians in training would live (or “reside”) at the hospital. These doctors became known as residents. Pay was minimal beyond room, board, and laundry services. It was assumed that most young men and women training as physicians had few obligations outside of medical training at that stage of their careers. – Wikipedia
The Comfort Zone
Our comfort zones may not be all that comfortable, but there is comfort in familiarity. And when we are offered the choice between what is familiar and what is unfamiliar, our instinct is to stay with what we know. We are hardwired this way from an evolutionary standpoint. If something is familiar, we have clearly survived exposure to it, and it feels safe. The same cannot be said for the unfamiliar.
Everyone’s reason for staying in their comfort zone is different, but perhaps you will recognize some of these from your own experience:
- I don’t have enough time, money, help, etc.
- We can’t take any risks right now.
- People will think I am selfish.
- I can wait a little longer.
- I should just be happy with what I have.
It doesn’t matter the reason for staying in the comfort zone; the results are the same. I have seen it time and again in my own life.
“A comfort zone is a beautiful place to visit, but nothing ever grows there.”
It’s easy to do what you’re used to doing, but if you want to make progress in your life, you need to welcome the discomfort. That means planning frequent trips outside of your comfort zone into the great unknown. You can do it!
Here are three ways your comfort zone may be keeping you stuck and what you can do today.
1. It’s almost impossible to grow and learn while inside your comfort zone.
You learn more about yourself when you break out of the comfort zone. There are plenty of things on the medical journey that are uncomfortable, but occasionally step out of the comfort zone in a direction YOU choose rather than being pushed out of it. There is power in choosing your discomfort, and discomfort is a prerequisite for growth.
What is something that would be uncomfortable that you could intentionally move towards? (Examples: having a difficult conversation, asking for help, talking to that mom at the gym, signing up for that class, etc.)
2. If you stay in your comfort zone, you may never make or reach personal goals.
Your goals are important! YES, YOURS! When difficulties come up—and they will—you need to be brave enough to keep moving forward towards your dreams and desires. It’s really easy to jump back into old routines. Don’t! Find the courage to push through when the going gets tough, and you’ll be glad you did. Always have a goal that is just for you, and nurture it like you would one of your children.
Do you have a goal? What is one thing you could do today to get that goal off the ground and moving? Baby steps are still steps!
3. When life becomes routine, you risk losing a part of yourself.
This may be the most tragic of them all. Routine is a part of your comfort zone. It may be nice for now, but staying in your comfort zone not only hurts you, but those around you, including the rest of the world. You have a purpose, and you’ll find it outside of your comfort zone, not in it.
What gifts or desires have you been neglecting? How could you breathe new life into them?
What I Wish I Knew Then
I wish I could go back and tell myself what I know now.
Right now, it is residency, and that feels hard, but tomorrow it will be fellowship, more children, you are going to move, again and again, there are going to be more difficult challenges than this. I need you to be strong. I need you to be whole. Now is the time to start working on you. You can’t afford to wait any longer. Right now. Please.
“I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn’t get better. You get better.” – Joan Rivers
I get teary-eyed just thinking of that imagined encounter. Obviously, I can’t go back. But I can imagine how things might have been different. And if they can’t be different for me then, they can be now, and they can be for you, too, no matter where you are. This is why I do what I do. This is why I am here. You have something to offer the world, and we need you.
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